Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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