i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize