hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
