Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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