I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
