That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
did i just pee glitter
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize