32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
