the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
