How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
