i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
