Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
