i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Randomize
