Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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