This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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