He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
