Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize