do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
