I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
