Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
