it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
