i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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