ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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