you would pick up someone in the library
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
