You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
