another moral hangover. fuck.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
