So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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