How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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