U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
