You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
