I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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