YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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