is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I just want to make out with him forever
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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