Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
