my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
