is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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