I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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