ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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