U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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