Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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