I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
