i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
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