where am i from again
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
