I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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