How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
