Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Randomize
