I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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