quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize