Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize