lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
