if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
