I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
And then he peed in my hair
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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