ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
