Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
