I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
