Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
