no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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