trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
