at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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