Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
