I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
