Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
They have beer where we have blood.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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