he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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