He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize