i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
no you cant smoke seaweed
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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