The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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