I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
