last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
