My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
