Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
