My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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